The key to stimulating your reader's interest is a scene with crisp, specific, believable details. It doesn't matter if your story's action centers on sky-diving or on calling a household to dinner, the details of that action are the key to riveting your reader's eyes to your page.

Read the following two story openings:

Example 1: The man held the side of the plane's opening as he leaned out. The plane had slowed to the right speed for sky-diving. He felt the wind against him. As the old man got ready to jump, he could see the terrain below. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and jumped from the plane, high in the sky.

Example 2: Stanley Knotley's white knuckles clutched the cold, aluminum wing strut as he leaned out of the red Cessna 185 which had slowed to precisely 68 knots-perfect for a sky-dive. His gray beard whipped sideways as green patchwork fields passed below him. He sucked in a last breath of air, squeezed his eyes shut and let go. His downward plunge would take him 12,000 feet to the earth below.

Both versions tell the same story. Yet every aspect of the second version generates specific details that make readers see the story rather than having it told to them by the writer. The first story is written as if the scene has been seen by the writer, who is now re-telling it to readers. The second is written as if it is a window into reality. It allows readers to see something as it is happening, almost as if the writer isn't even there.

Christine Magee is a Rosedog author who makes great use of crisp details to give readers an on-site sense of reality. Her story, Apple Pie to Follow, begins with:

"Dinner's ready!!" The shrill, somewhat grating, voice rose to compete with "Sale of the Century" blaring away in the lounge room. Hazel spooned lamb stew onto the last of the plates and banged the ladle hard against the pot several times.

"Get yer backsides in 'ere, I 'aven't got all night!"

One by one, they sauntered in and took their places at the large kitchen table. Hazel shot a glance at the clock on the wall, plodded into the hall and banged her foot hard on the floor.

Christine capitalizes on distinct details to make this simple action one that rings with tension and describes a situation without any "telling" by the author. The words allow the reader to hear Hazel's tone and the sharp sound of the ladle against the metal pot, sense the atmosphere among those in the lounge and smell the lamb stew.

Items that are specifically named, especially by type or brand, touch readers' sense of familiarity. Each specific detail makes the image of that item one the reader can recognize as being real. They don't have to work to imagine the size, shape or characteristics of an object-they know precisely what it looks like. For instance, in example 1, "an airplane" can be big, small or anything in between. But in example # 2 above, a Cessna 185 is specific. Even if you are not familiar with aircraft, the fact that this is a named aircraft gives you a sense that Stanley is truly on a particular airplane.

Likewise, in Christine's story, Hazel's voice must rise above the volume of a particular television program. Even if you have never seen the "Sale of the Century" television show, the very name gives you an idea of type of show that this is.

Certainly not every item in a story needs to be a brand name; that would become tedious and too distracting. Yet sometimes a specific branding iron approach to an object in a story provides a dual result. For instance, in Christine's "Apple Pie To Follow" her naming of that program hints at the level of entertainment that the viewers prefer in that household.

Employ your readers' senses, not just your characters' senses. Let your readers see, touch, smell, and feel the scene you create.

In example #1 of the short story openings above, the writer tells readers that the man is old and that the terrain is below the man.

In example #2, readers see the gray beard for themselves as well as the green fields that Stanley, too, is watching pass below him. You also not only see Stanley's knuckles, but you feel the cold touch of the aluminum. You know exactly what he is holding onto-a wing strut. Even if you've never touched a wing strut yourself, you can almost see that aluminum post that is holding up the wing-and keeping Stanley from plunging 12,000 feet.

In Christine's story Hazel doesn't dish up just any stew, but a lamb stew. It gives readers a chance to smell it for themselves. Once again, Chris employed a specific detail that serves a dual purpose. This specific description also begins to hint at the setting of the story-Australia.

Any description that plays on the senses of sight, smell, hearing or touch will help to immerse your readers in your story.

Visceral Verbs

Action verbs are stronger than passive ones, but not all action verbs are created equal. Involve readers with your characters' actions by using the most distinct, active and reader-involving verbs you can find.

First, let's see example #1 of the short story openings again, but with all passive verbs:

Passive: The man was holding the side of the plane's opening and leaning out. The plane was going slow enough now for sky-diving. The wind was on the old man's face. He was looking at the terrain below and trying to get ready to jump. After he had taken a deep breath, with his eyes closed, he found himself jumping from the plane, high in the sky.

The use of passive verbs such as "is, was, has been," etc. distances readers from any story. It is the author re-telling the reader what the author saw. Changing to active verbs, like "held, leaned, slowed, and felt" as we did in Example #1, gives readers a chance to see the action. Even though Example #1 is an improvement, it is still a weak scene, even with all its active verbs. Why? Because many verbs which may be active grammatically-speaking are really in the slow lane dramatically-speaking. If you want the reader to not just see the action, but feel it, turn to the most powerful verbs you can find that suit each sentence's purpose.

For instance, the very word "clutch" makes readers tighten their own muscles, if ever so slightly. "He took a deep breath" may find readers seeing Stanley's effort, but "Stanley sucked in a last breath of air" finds the readers pulling in just a smidgen more air at the same time right along with Stanley.

In another example of visceral verbs, read Christine's fine story and sense the sharp "clang" of the metal ladle against the pot. If she had only "hit" the pot the reaction is not felt by the reader. When Hazel "shot a glance at the clock," readers feel the spin of the woman's neck, so much more than if Hazel had "looked at the clock."

Study the verbs that you might use in a sentence for one of your own stories. Note your own subtle reactions to each verb as you think it and then as you say it aloud. Then use those verbs that will snatch your reader right into the whirlpool of your action-no matter what scene you are creating.